Obsolete

I can't change the unwanted reality.
It was foolish to stay in the fantasy.
You made me believe, now I feel dumb.
Forced to accept for the sake of our son.
And the world seems so vile.
Adding you to the pile.
I go alone, do you understand?
Since I have aged out of being your brand.
I won't be walking next to you.
Invisible while you survey the new.
I saw it, I'm not blind.
Now you are not really no longer my kind.
She was half your age.
Time to move on with my rage.
Anytime now I will pick up the pieces.
You never lifted a finger to treat this
Long festering wounds neglected.
Your actions all thoroughly dissected.
You go out drinking while I sit in this prison.
Do you do it then with your whiskey vision?
Your penchant for the young and long flowing hair.
There is no reason for me to even be there.
With me you still find it necessary.
To make me your embarrassed accessory.

Ex friends blog

I've been voyering on my ex friends blog. We parted ways last summer and I couldnt help myself from taking a looksie. She mentions me, saying she didnt want to get "bullied into doing something that wasnt me." it infuriated me for a few days, her feeling that I tried to bully her into reprimanding her child who had once again disrespected the boundaries of my house, this particular time walking in on me while naked. It was the last straw, especially because when I stormed up the stairs to inform her on what her daughter had done, she just stood there. Her daughter was smugly laughing and she just stood there. Watching her get away with it again was not an option. Her daughter tried to make nice with me, I told her I didn't want to talk to her "right now" so she went into another room to pout about it. Immediately my friend is running after her "whats wrong?" hello, im the one who was wronged here but no words of sorry or perhaps an explanation to the nine year old who should know better about respecting my boundaries. So I get a call a week later on how i hurt her feelings for being so mean to her daughter. My friend labeled the incident as a mistake even though we both know it is the main goal of her daughter to get into the basement, the one place I asked be off limits. This is where the bullying came in for I had a need to have my friend explain to her that it was wrong to breach my boundaries. It was always I who stopped her kids from sneaking down. I would see a hand on the doorknob and ask "where are you going?" why is it my job to police them? Why was it so much to ask of her to watch her own bleeping kids??? So my friends feelings were hurt, I got the feeling she was expecting me to apologize to her. If my kid upset my friend, he would be apologizing so I was feeling no remorse of course. Im hoping this lack of any kind of reprimanding of her kids comes to bite her in the ass. The need to run to her daughter's defense and coddle her was a huge turnoff. So we broke up, the woman who called me her best friend realized she would never get the alpha roll although she jockyed for it since day one. I wasnt going to be pushed around by a nine year old either.  If only she didnt try my patience as much as her daughter did, the duo drain was too much to live through, pity as it was obvious we clicked to the point it was eerie.  We couldnt stop communicating with eachother, texting daily like teenagers, planning outings where we would be, um, acting like teenagers.  The fun could have gone on forever but I just couldn't keep my rage under control.  She is what I would call a narcisist raising a narcisist, a replacement narcisist since there are not enough of them in this world already. Surprisingly my dreams matched hers, however our position as mentally starved housewives not uncommen but shared in all its complexities couldnt sustain our friendship. The constant drain of staying patient in just a three hour window proved too much. The absolute relief I felt when she was taking her kids home priceless. After a few days of anger I revisited my ex friend's blog and something new stood out. She wanted more kindness and respect in this world we live in, especially with raising kids in an environment that seems to lack these qualities. Im not sure why her daughter was exempt in showing respect. Its where it starts, teaching it to our kids.

Your affair

I dont have to hold your hand through your self inflicted pain.
Although I will not judge and criticize and say that your insane.
Your unending need to discuss this is taxing on my mind.
Expecting me to spit out the answers he can't give is a brutal grind.
I've already answered them, we were thorough in discussing this man.
But every time your heart is hurt you are asking them again.

Her daughter

They tried to talk us into it.
It was hard to wiggle out.
Without stating the obvious.
They gave their daughter too much clout.
I could only assume she'd wield the power, While they proudly look on.
They'd dote and coo, so they too I would be enduring on and on.
While she takes every moment, succumb to their miniature con. 
How could it possibly be worth it, To have her a part of my holiday? 
My kindness would be counterfeit. And at bedtime she won't go away.
They brought it up time and again. It's really an impossible sell.
To our tiny house for vacation. A perfectly miserable hell.

Cant keep him

I dont think I can keep him.
I need to set him free.
He says he doesnt want to end it.
But he's barely nice to me.
I know I have to let him go.
And start the lovely misery.
Sleeping alone living without.
Feel the lack of security.
Lying in bed thinking,
How he loved me at thirty three.