The way it started

We started with going to Disney World all the time, convincing his best friend to come with us once.  It was before 9/11 so I hid things in my shoes.  My black lace up shoes had a big chunky heal that popped off like a Lego piece, revealing a rather large compartment for holding things, all kinds of things to enhance our trip to the happiest place on earth.   And I would dress like his paid for whore because it drove him crazy and his attention would be on me all night, my twenty something reality of what love was.   I would revel in his angry moments when other men stared.  He would be so mad, saying some man just pushed his baby stroller into a poll because he was looking at me, and the group of mothers who quickly turned away when I walked up to the line for the Peter Pan adventure, I am so glad for lucid memories for they have taught the biggest lessons.  I would have probably continued on like that but Im glad that wasn't the case.  It takes a little time to mourn and let go of precious youth.  How important it was to travel while still in it.  Your pursuits in your twenties and thirties while on vacation will be so different than in your fifties.  No need to wait.  Make the new couch you want wait, the other material pursuits, for life is short and health isn't guatanteed for life. There were trips to Amsterdam when Disney got old until the last one had to be canceled.  I found out I was pregnant.  Now the gap of going again almost reaches a decade later and I know it won't be the same so I don't push to go.  Leave it for the memories of what was.  I don't think I can go back there with him.