A Facebook post by a friend got my attention. It was a short video featuring ads of women being used as objects. There was something written to the effect that if women are going to continually be portrayed as objects, society will treat them as such. Then the next part was the same ads but reversing the roles. It was clever, funny to watch because they used some chunky beer loving men, and everyday looking women in the position of power. There was a man leaning over the sink in boxers and little white t-shirt riding up his big belly, the wife spanking him with a broomstick, prompting him to wash those dishes faster, and another man on his hands in knees washing the floor next to a pair of legs in stilettos. It put a smile on my face yet made me realize that a lot of women I know sexualize themselves. Facebook is a tool for many women to show anyone who cares just how sexy they are. One friend my age, (mid forties) posts regular pics of herself in very sexy poses, sometimes you can see she is only wearing a black bra. The look on her face always says lonely middle aged housewife. She will get at least thirty likes, mostly men yes but quite a bit of women too and I keep wondering when the likes will drop off seeing she is a serial poster of these come hither pics, sometimes three in one week, but nobody has stepped up to shame her yet.
When we went to visit my husbands college roommate last summer, he had a new girlfriend he brought with to dinner. Sixteen years younger and super animated in her chair, she assertively answered every question of mine that was directed to my husbands old friend. I haven't seen him in over a decade but I couldn't really talk to him because she kept interjecting. It was a night of her talking and talking. Later I looked her up on Facebook, she had a profile pic that featured a whole line of women's asses in miniskirts, sitting down on a bench side by side. I believe it was her friends and herself. Her other pics were bar scenes and good times, which is common stuff to post, but in general, I notice in the single set, the quantity of posts are super revealing, like the ads women claim to hate.
The biggest upset for me personally are towards the moms my age posting pics of their young teen daughters. It really bums me out. I don't have a daughter so maybe I'm out of touch but it turns my stomach. I don't hit the like button, and I feel animosity towards the mom who posted. Why? Isn't fourteen a little young for their own moms pushing them out there? When I first joined FB, my one high school friend's thirteen year old daughter who had a profile pic of herself in a white bustier, and the next year when she turned fourteen, my friend regularly posted pics of her in tiny tight mini dresses that looked like tank tops, captioning them with "my beauty", or "I'm so proud of my girl!". Now recently an old college roommate of mine started posting her newly turned fourteen daughter in a mini dress, leaning way forward with one strap completly falling off the shoulder, exclaiming her pride. Pride in what exactly? A big part of me would love to see my husbands reaction if I did this for our fictitious daughter. I would love the payback of watching him turn livid when some forty something year old pig stares relentlessly at her.
I shudder to think what I would have done if Facebook was around in the nineties. Shudder. I'm not going to claim any real emotional maturity on my part, perhaps that's why it surprises me when people cross a line I wouldn't, and of course I'm rolling my eyes when my serial posting friend strikes again. I wonder why she wants to appear so desperate. I guess I'm more annoyed with her because she is older, and perhaps I'm practicing what I hate, ageism. I'm able to blow off the young girls, even their potty mouth posts, because they are young. But an older woman screaming that loudly for attention is so irritating sometimes I have to stop myself from posting "again?". Or "oh the one with the black bra, lovely!". It's actually all tame compared to the younger set. So perhaps I should just give her a break. In the end it's about attention. Women never seem to get enough of it. And it's easy to see what gets it.
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